I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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