i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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