u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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