Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
