mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
