he shaved USA in his pubs
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
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