at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
