Screwed.edu
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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