What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
