I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
