she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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