I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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