I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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