Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Randomize
