I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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