this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
