Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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