So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
