im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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