T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
