it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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