Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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