he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
