what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
