you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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