the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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