Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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