i can't believe i had my finger in that
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
