Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
