your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
