Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
