you dipped you banana in queso last night.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
