I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Randomize
