My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
