I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
