just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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