Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
