That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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