I accidentally had phone sex last night
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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