Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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