before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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