dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
