I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Randomize
