i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
