Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
