I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
