I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
