@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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