You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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