why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
