I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
